Brock T Rockenheimer Bio

 

Brock is a 32nd generation drummer and rhythm man.  His ancient ancestors were the rhythm keepers on Viking longboats, beating out rock-steady rhythms on giant drums and the occasional disobedient slave.  Every generation of his line has produced a drummer who is progressively more perfect than the last, resulting in the amazing, god-like specimen that is Brock T. Rockenheimer.     

 

One day the devil went down to Woodinville.  He was looking for a soul to steal.  He was in a bind because he was way behind, and he was looking to make a deal.  He came up on Brock playing the drums and playing them HOT.  So the devil jumped up on an old, rusted-out Ford Tempo and said, “Boy, let me tell you what!” But Brock didn’t wait for him to finish.  Brock  jumped his ass and pummeled him with a 4,096th note roll and “did things” to him with his drumsticks until the devil begged for mercy and offered Brock an incredible gift.  Brock stopped.  

 

After admitting that he was now Brock’s bitch, the devil imbued him with the souls of John Bonham, Keith Moon, Buddy Rich, Razzle, and Dave Lombardo (he wasn’t using it.)  He then made Brock eternally young and adorable, to make sure there were no hard feelings.   He also asked that Brock not talk about “that thing” he did with the drumsticks. 

 

Brock is the anchor for Platinum Spandex that keeps The ROCK moving with the precision of a nuclear clock. 

 

Brock does everything in perfect rhythm, in any time signature.  

 

That’s right, ladies, EVERYTHING. 

 

© 2018 by Platinum Spandex LLC

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