Mikey Spandex Bio

 

In a time long, long ago, in a place very near his current residence - and for no apparent good reason in the grand scheme of things - Mikey Spandex entered the world.  As a child, waking to the sound of his Father’s rock and roll music playing on ‘the Philco’, and to the cries of his Mother to ‘turn it down’, his musical roots began to form.  

 

In 5th grade, Mikey began his formal training by playing clarinet in the school band. Unimpressed by the chick-repellant qualities of the clarinet, in 7th grade Mikey traded it in for an awe-inspiring, chick-magnet woodwind, the bassoon. When asked why, Mikey had this to say, "I don’t recall what I was thinking, really. I was an adolescent, so perhaps it had something to do with the fact that it was a very tall piece of wood. There was an ‘at home’ comfort level with holding it in my hands."

 

Upon graduation from high school, his parents asked what he would like as a gift. Though he had never played one before, his request was simply, "I want an electric guitar." Having been extremely shy around girls throughout high school, he thought mastering The Rock™ and living the jukebox hero dream would mean scoring with countless chicks during his adult years. The goose-bumps he got whenever he played an awesome lick were nice… but for him it was mostly about wanting to be ‘cool’ and the possibility of obtaining groupies. 

 

So, Mikey played….and played….and played…by himself  (it’s what he knew best)…for years…  and years…and years. Often setting his lonely guitar aside for months at a time, Mikey focused on building a ‘normal’ life, leaving his fixes for The Rock™  to nights spent at local bars and nightclubs, or at concerts as a mere spectator while the dream of performing (and getting groupies) faded further with each passing year. 

 

Then, one night in Whistler, while having dinner (i.e. getting drunk) with his longtime buddy Tommy Platinum - who was really looking for an excuse to dress like a girl and wear  makeup (again) - the idea to form the band was struck. It was agreed that they would venture forth to resurrect The ROCK™ and fulfill their idling dreams….and to save mankind, of course. So excited by the Whistler agreement, Mikey quickly did nothing, adopting a ‘wait and see’ attitude, while Tommy drove the idea forward and did all the work to bring the band together. And, ultimately, his closet cross-dressing buddy came through.  

 

Faced with the prospect of actually having to play before others, but bolstered by the possibility of getting groupies, shy Mikey dusted off his guitars and his 1980’s Heavy Metal tablature archive and began practicing like never before. The result, sore fingers, isolation from his family, annoyed neighbors and finger-pointing laughter during 

 

rehearsal….but Mikey pressed on to help Platinum Spandex bring The Rock™ back to the world (and, uh, for the groupies). 

© 2018 by Platinum Spandex LLC

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